Thankful Thursdays-My father

Dad,

I'm thankful for you today. I'm thankful for the (almost) 16 years I had you in my life. I realize, though, you are always in my life. Your pictures framed around my room, you're in a certain twinkle in Chloe's eyes, and I hear you in the trees when the wind blows by your grave.

It is eleven years ago today that I lost you. It was a Thursday even. It's so hard to believe it's been that long. As cliche as it sounds, I feel as though Mom walked in my room, crawled in my bed and told me last night.

Thank you for being such an amazing person. You were such a powerful, strong role model, not just to me, but to everyone. Everyone adored you. So gentle, yet so commanding when you walked in a room. Always a pleasure to be around. I think of your compassion for others and hope I am being at least half as compassionate to the people in my life as you have been. You sacrificed so much for all of us in order to give us a happy home.

I'm thankful for all the support and encouragement I received from you. I still use that to get through some struggles today. Thank you for coming to ALL of my softball games from teeball to high school, even when you had to rush straight there from work, even when it was freezing, even when I didn't do that well. Always there. I know you know that's part of the reason I had to stop playing. Not seeing you standing there with a grin on your face still in your work clothes would've broken me.

Thank you for not letting me go out with my friends all the time. I used to get angry at you, and think it wasn't fair, but it's almost like you knew something I didn't. Half an hour later after I'd calmed down, you'd order a pizza and get a movie for us to watch. The Omen, Cool Hand Luke, all of these great old movies. I realize you just wanted to spend some time with your little girl that seemed to be growing up too fast. Those last few years you were physically here, I obviously did not know they would be our last times together or I never would've left your sight. I would've begged to run all your errands with you, just to listen to you sing classic rock and feel the breeze in my hair. I would've insisted we go to Cedar Point one more time, like we did year after year, just the two of us, but instead of falling asleep in the back of the van on the way home, I'd stay up and make you tell me stories so I could hear your infectious laugh or just stare at you, memorizing every line of your face.

There are obviously many more memories, and I cherish all of them. I'm sorry I was so angry for awhile after your death. I'm sorry I didn't focus on all the good, and played the victim. I know you would've been an incredible grandfather to Chloe, Em and Claire, and am comforted with the thought of you watching over all of us. I am so thankful for every minute I had with you. I don't need a thankful Thursday to be thankful for you, I am thankful for you endlessley.